As I am writing this, Hannah is upstairs having a tantrum. We should be out Trick-Or-Treating, but she is refusing to listen to my instructions and pretending that she doesn’t know what they were.
It has been an exciting day so far. My husband is out of town for a business meeting so it’s just me and Hannah. We went to church, went to lunch and then off to see High School Musical 3. The plan was to come home and have her change into her costume then head off to collect as much candy as humanly possible. She knew the schedule, so this is not taking her by surprise and she handles transition very well.
Hannah has been looking forward to today. We got her bride costume about a month ago. This is a real miniature bride dress complete with veil. We found it at a thrift shop for a steal and she has been anxiously waiting to wear it. However, the dress is sleeveless and it is in 40s temperature wise, along with a stiff 20 MPH wind. It’s downright cold. I told Hannah to put on her white turtleneck under her dress and then wear her coat. I know that she heard me because she asked detailed questions about the turtleneck. Now she is pretending that she doesn’t remember that I told her to put on the turtleneck. It is a passive-aggressive way of telling me that she cannot handle this right now.
Rather than using the words that she is perfectly capable of using, she is choosing to act out. This is how our kids handle things on a regular basis. In many cases the kids don’t know the words for the feelings, but Hannah does. This is just a choice she is making. I have been through this many times so I know what is going on, but for many parents it is frustrating. You want to have fun and take your child but sometimes they sabotage it. Whether it’s excitement or fear, the emotions that they feel overwhelm them. This is the point where we have to put our dreams aside for the emotional well being of our children.
When Hannah is done with her tantrum, I will do holding with her but right now she is too worked up. I am not being horribly mean to her. On Wednesday they have dress up day at school and on Friday a neighboring community has their trick-or-treat and a party for kids. She will still have the opportunity. It just won’t be today. If she continues to act out, I will know without a doubt that she can’t handle this this year and I will act accordingly.